Pistner, Ann M. (Napier) Gates: March 16, 2014. Predeceased by her husband, Walter J. Pistner. Survived by her children, Linda (former partner Donna) Pistner , David (Fiance Cassandra King) Pistner, Tim (Margaret) Pistner; grandchildren, Andrew Pistner, Alex Pistner, Kirk (Kari) Pistner Max Pistner; sister, Phyllis (Paul) Lavenau; several nieces nephews. For more information about Ann, visit www.aliferemembered.com All services private. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to, American Heart Association, PO Box 3049, Syracuse, NY 13220-3049 in Ann's memory. Our Mom was a wonderful mix of strength and gentleness, a keen observer of all around her, and a constant supporter of friends, family and community. She had seemingly endless energy to take on whatever needed doing, to the point where well into her eighties, hard-earned rest left her thinking that she should be doing something. As she grew older, and less able to be out and about, her horizons remained wide through her contacts with beloved family and friends, as well as her immense enjoyment of reading. Anna Marie Napier Pistner was born on December 11, 1925 to Kirk and Estelle (Haller) Napier in Buffalo, NY. As a child, she loved to sit with her father as he read the paper aloud to her, the beginning of her deep love of reading. Her mother had tuberculosis and was often ill, so Ann and her younger sister Marjorie, born in April 1929, spent time with her father's sister, Mary, and other family. Summers were spent at Lime Lake, where Ann and her cousin, Napier Dills, formed a close bond that was lifelong. Estelle died in 1933, when Ann was not quite eight and Marjorie four. Their father married Laura Rowland in 1934, and their sister Phyllis was born in 1936. In 1939, Ann and seven other young women--Edna, Betty, Janis, Ruth, Ginny, Lillian and Katherine, formed a club they called "the Scamps." The surviving members of this group of women are still in touch today, after more than seventy years of friendship. It was noted in club records that, "Dancing is the favorite pastime," and that "meetings are held every two weeks on Friday night, unless something turns up, which makes the meetings irregular." Irregular though they may have been, meetings of the Scamps continued through the years, growing to include families for summer picnics and other events, but remaining primarily for the Scamps themselves to enjoy each other's company. Our house would be filled with laughter well into the evening when it was Mom's turn to host her "club." After graduating from Kenmore Senior High School in 1943, Ann attended Buffalo State before taking a job at the Linde Division of Union Carbide. Here she met Walter Pistner, who took her to the beach on their first date. Her stepmother, a strict Baptist, did not approve of Ann and Walt's relationship because he was Catholic, and they broke up. Eventually they got back together and Walt left the Catholic Church to be baptized. Ann and Walt were married on November 28, 1948, and lived with his parents at first. This was a challenge because Walt's mother, Alice--it has to be said--was a terrible cook. Fearful of germs, she overcooked everything, and her idea of a balanced meal was to make sure there were three separate items on the plate. Mom recalled a meal where, at the last moment, Alice added canned sardines to make item number three. Always hungry, Mom and Dad regularly bought chocolate cupcakes at a nearby bakery and kept them in the car so that they could eat them on the way to work. While Dad tends to get the credit for building our house on Brighton Road, Mom worked right alongside him. Asked what she remembered most clearly about that experience, she said, "The time your father almost killed me." Apparently he was building the chimney and dropped a concrete block inches from her head, nearly falling off the roof in the process. Yet the house was finished, and withstood the addition of three children to the family: Linda in 1950, David in 1952, and Tim in 1958. They added a dining room, then raised the roof to add two bedrooms and a bath in 1962, and sent all the kids upstairs. Mom and Dad remained in that house until the fall of 2011. Our parents were founding members of the Brighton Community Church, located just blocks from our home, and were active participants in the work it takes to grow a church and then keep it a meaningful part of people's lives. Mom spent many, many hours organizing and running fellowship, education and outreach activities, and our family spent many a Sunday afternoon at a church supper. Quite a few of the friends they made through the church became important in our parents' lives, staying in touch despite the physical distances that eventually separated them. Mom and Dad chose to spend their evenings at home with us and rarely went out when we were growing up. Vacations were always exciting, and made more so by our folks' purchase of the first of many travel trailers, which greatly lengthened the distances we could visit, including the Badlands, Yellowstone and other western national parks, Nova Scotia, Virginia and North Carolina, and of course Florida, where Mom's retired parents lived. While we were of course expected to help with the chores on these trips, what child wouldn't seek numerous inventive ways to minimize time spent on such work, or avoid it entirely? Mom's endless energy kept everything running smoothly, so that we could experience the joy of having our blueberry pancakes snatched off the picnic table by blue jays, or swimming in salt water. Our Mom was very close to her sister, Marjorie, and our two families spent a lot of time together, from picnics on the river, to vacations in Canada, to just hanging out. Our cousins were truly family, and as well known to us as our siblings. Marjorie's death in 2007 was a major blow to her, and she missed her sister every day. Mom had a special bond with her niece, Kathy, whose description of Mom is very apt: "She was a joy to talk to. Bright, opinionated, upbeat." Kathy and her husband, Alan, were always available for loving advice and support as our parents dealt with the illnesses of their later years. The loss of her mother at such an early age was a pivotal event in Mom's life. As a result of it, she became stronger and more resilient, so that when difficult events and losses occurred in her life, she would have her feelings and then find a way to move forward. She was tireless in her support of friends, family and fellow church members, frequently delivering a casserole to a families who had suffered an illness or loss, or helping with their children. When the need for platelets arose for a church member, she made repeated trips downtown for the two hour donation process. And her love of reading led her to be a Literacy Volunteer. Everyone who knows Mom knows that she loved to read. There were always piles of books from the library around the house, and books for each of us at a time when this was not as common as it is today. She was often so engrossed in her book that she wouldn't answer us when we asked for something. Tim, when small, figured out that the best way to get her attention was to put his small hand on her cheek and wait for her to look up. She went through many books a week, particularly during the years she spent in Rochester, traveling to the library with David and coming back with a stack that she would polish off in a matter of days. Another passion of Mom's was her sewing and needlework. She was a gifted seamstress, and made many complicated cross stitch works that were hung about the house, and later their apartments. She did amazing works in decoupage, including several lamps that are still displayed in our homes. Her involvement with these projects led our Dad to take up carving, and they spent many happy weekends traveling to craft shows to learn from the work of others and enjoy sharing tips with them. The years Mom and Dad spent in Florida were happy ones filled with such pursuits and activities they enjoyed with a wide network of friends. Even after her stroke confined her to a bed in a nursing home, Mom was not ready to give up. Her determination to do everything she could to become stronger earned her the reputation of a fighter among the therapy and nursing home staff. More importantly, it gave us the opportunity to be with her in the knowledge that time was short. In her last months, Mom was full of grace, even able to say that she had been very fortunate in her life. Her mind remained sharp, and she participated in her medical care. Due to her physical limitations Mom was largely deprived of her ability to read, one of the great pleasures of her life, so she increased her attention to the news and weather, often informing us of events or discoveries that we were unaware of. Mom's death and that of our father just last month leave us full of grief for their loss. Our Mom was a unique and wonderful woman, full of love for us, for our father, for our wider family of friends and relatives. Our hearts, too, are full of love for her, the memories we share, and above all the ways in which she touched and will always be a part of each of us.